Running - Chapter 2

She ran down the street as quickly as she could with her baby girl slung at her side. She was out of breath and she cursed herself for putting on the shoes she had that morning, and then got mad at herself for worrying about her missing heel and the blister on her left big toe. Lucy scrunched up her face and looked at her mother with steady eyes.

The woman pushed a thick clump of dark hair off her face as she ran. The air was damp and chill, making her nose red and her joints ache. At the next corner she stopped, took a deep breath and listened intently. It was silent, except for the faint and distant sounds of sirens and traffic, which comforted her a bit, as traffic is a busy daytime sound. She began to walk quickly towards the jagged intersection of a narrow street little more than an alley that obliquely bisected the slightly wider avenue she was looking to escape. She turned quickly into it as her daughter began to scream.

“Please be quiet, Lucy, please. Just a little while, I promise. I promise, we’re almost there. Shhhhh”

Lucy continued to wail, her cries cutting through the dark night with a sound so piercing it was almost visible. Her mother tried to comfort her as she limped quickly through the darkness, the lights of the city penetrating the bitter gloom only in sad dim patches. Buildings rose on either side of them, featureless walls giving away nothing, an Imperial warehouse on one side, a deserted stables on the other. She heard things crawling and squeaking and scrabbling around her feet. She tried to ignore it, tamping down both her disgust and the fear that caused bile to rise in her throat. She pulled Lucy’s face close to her neck and wrapped her sweater tightly around them both.

Lucy’s mother finally saw a faint, but real glow. Sure enough, a few yards ahead, the alley ended abruptly, cutting into a wide thoroughfare. She peered out, and seeing no one she stepped into the legendary Boulevard du Monde. Shuttered bookseller stalls lined the sidewalks. She turned right, onto the empty street, the electric street lamps casting a pinkish glow on the night. All was quiet. Even the information vendors had locked up and gone home.

The Boulevard turned sharply and Lucy’s mother saw yellow light spilling out of a storefront about twenty yards ahead. She slowed to a walk. It was the Cup of Broken Dreams, a coffee shop she had passed by many times but never entered that catered mostly to members of the knowledge brokering trade. The thought of warmth and a cup of tea was tempting, and she needed to feed and change Lucy. But was it safe? She wished everything wasn’t so difficult, she wished things were different. The phrase “things would be different if they weren’t the same” popped into her head, something her mother had always said to her. When she was a teenager she thought that was absolutely the stupidest thing anyone could say. Now she thought there might actually be more in it than she had first assumed.

“But this is pointless and it doesn’t matter. Stop thinking. Stop it, just watch and keep moving. Shut up shut up shutupshutupshutup…” she told herself, trying too quiet her brain which she was sure was vibrating, making Lucy even more confused and upset than she would have been otherwise.

She took a deep breath and squinted into the foggy window of the teashop. A man was drying cups behind the counter with a rag. His face was blank and ordinary. The only customers were three old ladies sitting together at one of the far tables. She thought she would chance it.

“If I’m wrong, forgive me.” she whispered to Lucy as she entered the café.

A bell rang above the door as it opened. The three old ladies all turned and looked at her in unison. They all smiled in that soppy way that Lucy’s mother loathed, the way grandmothers always smile when they see babies. It was slightly disconcerting to see it in triplicate. She went up to the counter.

“Tea, please. And where’s the bathroom?”

The man behind the counter pointed silently.

She entered the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She awkwardly managed to clean Lucy up and change her in the tiny featureless room. She sat down on the toilet, unbuttoned her blouse and guided Lucy’s mouth to her breast. She flinched slightly. Lucy already had teeth and they were unusually sharp. As she nursed Lucy, she shut her eyes and tried not to think about what she was about to do. Don’t think too far ahead. Next step: Cup of tea. After that- well, there it was, wasn’t it? Make your way through Blue Sector without being seen. And then-

There was a faint knock at the door. She looked down and Lucy was asleep. She quickly buttoned her clothes. She said nothing and stayed perfectly still.

A slightly more insistent knock.

“Dear?”

A pause.

“I know you’re in there.”

It was one of the old ladies. There was no use denying she wasn’t in the toilet, the three women had seen her go in. And she couldn’t escape, there was no other exit besides the door, nowhere to hide. It was probably nothing. And if the woman was an enemy, she could fend off an old lady. If she wasn’t armed. If she was by herself. If there was no silent and lethally polite operative standing behind his old lady Trojan horse ready to do his worst. Well, she thought, I can’t stay in this toilet for the rest of my life, attractive as that prospect might seem at this moment.

“Be out in a minute.” She answered.

“Dear, I think you should come out now.”

A pause.

“They’re coming.”

Lucy’s mother stood up, her daughter in her arms. She took a deep breath and opened the door. It was the bravest thing she’d ever done.